All Bets are Off
by Louise Hargadon
Summary: Thunderbirds TOS. Very silly oneshot based in the timeline of Give or Take A Million. Specifically between 21st-23rd December. Scott and Tin-Tin 'accidentally' end up having to spend longer than expected on the mainland - and every single member of the Tracy family, except for one, knows exactly why... Rated T for some big swears and heavy-duty innuendos. Scott/Tin-Tin forever!


_**A/N:** I know I know. You wait months for a fic and then two come along at once. _

_There's nothing like that Christmassy feeling at the end of May! I've wanted to write The Untold Story of Scott and Tin-Tin on the Mainland for years, but I'm no romance writer, so this daft, unashamed silliness will have to do. _

_Dedicated with the purest and most sincere love of all to my beloved **Teebolicious **(not like that, Gords, calm down son). Also with thanks to **SweetChristabel** for letting me pinch an idea - she knows which one._

_**Disclaimer: Thunderbirds** belongs to the **Andersons**. **Scott** and **Tin-Tin** belong to each other. That's just how it is, folks. I just own a lifetime of love for them. I've lifted a couple of lines of dialogue from the episode **Give or Take a Million** as time references. _

**All Bets Are Off**

If anyone said they hadn't seen it coming, they were either lying or living under a rock.

It wasn't as though Tin-Tin and Scott hadn't already spent almost every day of that year flirting outrageously with each other. There had been a slightly-too-long Happy New Year Kiss during the previous New Year celebrations, and neither of them had been quite the same since. Everyone had noticed. Even Jeff had made a joke about needing to open a window, which had inevitably gone down like a lead balloon. Since then, most dialogue between the two of them had been fluent innuendo. Virgil had told them on more than one occasion to get a room, which had been met by protestations of innocence. Their lingering looks across the dinner table had been enough to put Alan off his food, and had elicited several judgemental glares from John.

If anything, it was actually more of a relief to everyone on the island when Scott and Tin-Tin finally got together during their Christmas shopping expedition. All that unresolved sexual tension needed resolving somehow, and the rest of the Tracy clan were just grateful they didn't have to pretend they couldn't hear what was going on. They had ended up being on the mainland for two days. A two-day shopping trip? Not even Lady Penelope had ever managed one of those. They were supposed to have only been away for one day. Not even a full 24 hour day. A half-day at most. That was why Jeff had given them the task in the first place, they worked well as a team and could be trusted not to party away their time on the mainland. He knew that the outcome would not have been quite the same had he sent Tin-Tin to the mainland with Gordon. The Beverly Hilton Hotel in Los Angeles were still undertaking repair works from the last time Gordon and Tin-Tin visited two years earlier, and they'd both subsequently been banned from all Hilton hotels for life.

The plan had been to arrive on the mainland just after breakfast time with a complete list, fully-sharpened elbows, and a Tracy Enterprises platinum credit card to make a significant dent in. With Scott's leadership prowess and Tin-Tin's nose for a bargain, they both thought that Christmas shopping would be the easiest job of all, and they would be home by dinner time without so much as a hair out of place. Alan, who had long cherished not-so-secret hopes of getting together with Tin-Tin, had obviously pouted and said it was unfair that he couldn't go with Tin-Tin, but Jeff pointed out that Alan was really needed at base in case a rescue call came in and someone else needed to pilot Thunderbird 1 in Scott's absence. Scott visibly wavered for a few moments at the thought of leaving Alan in charge of his 'Bird in the event of a rescue, but the idea of getting to fly the sleek reconnaissance craft seemed to distract Alan enough to allow them to leave. He physically dragged Jeff off to Thunderbird 1's hangar, barely pausing to wave over his shoulder to Scott and Tin-Tin, with Jeff reminding Scott to call the moment they landed to let him know they were safe.

As Grandma, Gordon and Virgil stood on the balcony to wave Scott and Tin-Tin's plane off, Gordon turned to Virgil.

"Twenty bucks says she fucks him by the end of the day," he said, clapping him on the shoulder. Before Virgil even had time to contemplate such odds in his head, he was interrupted by the matriarch of the Tracy family.

"Gordon!" Grandma shouted, slapping his arm with the back of her hand, accidentally grazing his skin with the diamond set into her eternity ring, given to her by Grandpa Tracy. Gordon let out a yelp which was more shock than pain.

"Jesus, Grandma, what's with you?" he asked, rubbing his wounded arm dramatically, as though she'd just hit him with a mace.

"You can't speak that way about your best friend and your brother! Can't you say something more polite, like 'make love?'" she asked. Gordon let out a scornful grunt and shook his head.

"No way, Grandma. Those two are so thirsty for each other, they're definitely gonna fuck."

"Besides, don't forget Gordon was in the military, you know he can't help but bust out the big swears!" Virgil said, dryly. Grandma frowned.

"The military? Gordon?" she asked, confused. Virgil grinned at her.

"He still thinks that the WASP counts," he said. Grandma let out a shrill squeak of laughter and Gordon glared at both of them.

"Hey, you try keeping the ocean safe from that fungus coloured creep from Titanica when you're stuck in a tin can under the sea like a less fortunate Spongebob!" he said, resisting the urge to fold his arms and pout. "If Scott can screw around, doing loop-de-loops for shits and grins in the Air Force for three years, and make out like he's military, so can I!" Grandma considered this argument for a moment before pursing her lips and nodding her head in acquiescence.

"The kid's got a point," she said. She mulled their conversation over in her head for a moment before letting out a sigh and grabbing her purse from the coffee table. "Okay then, FiveDimes Dot Com, I'll take your bet," she said. "I still say you're wrong. Everyone knows Alan has a crush on Tin-Tin," she said, confidently. Gordon chuckled and shook his head.

"Yeah, everyone knows that," he said. "But no woman's gonna take a frozen hamburger over a prime fillet steak - and Tin-Tin is sure as shit no vegan!"

"Did you just compare two of your brothers to pieces of meat?" Virgil asked. Gordon shrugged.

"They're your brothers too, Footlong," he said. Virgil raised an eyebrow very briefly.

"By name and nature," he agreed with a smug smile. Gordon chuckled and instigated a celebratory fistbump. Grandma shook her head in despair, and wished she'd had girls instead.

The rest of the day was filled with decorating the Villa in an adequately Christmassy fashion. There was furniture to be rearranged, decorations to be put up, rubbish to be taken out, Thunderbird craft to be given a cleanup to - which, for a craft like Thunderbird Four, took an hour with a standard pressure washer, and for Thunderbirds Two and Three, took six hours in a specialised roller washer. John still had the best deal of all, as he neither had to clean the outside of Thunderbird Five, nor entertain a small, sticky-handed child on Christmas Day.

At around nine o'clock, everyone finally reconvened in the newly decorated living room which was taken up almost entirely by a giant tree which was still waiting to be decorated. Grandma had decided that that would be Jeff's job for the following day, and Jeff knew better than to argue with his mother over any aspect of Christmas.

Just as he had taken the first swig of his nightcap, the eyes on Scott's portrait began to flash and make familiar bleeping sounds.

"Go ahead, Scott," Jeff said, switching on video communications. Scott looked a little frazzled to say the least. His hair was messed up and his shirt had the top two buttons undone, his eyes looked a little wild and he was visibly sweating. Gordon and Virgil looked up from their game of chess with interest, then looked at each other, but said nothing.

"Hey, Dad," Scott began, trying to sound casual and failing. "Say, the mainland is a lot more... umm... hectic, than we originally expected. We're gonna have to stay over," he said, looking a little uncomfortable. Jeff rolled his eyes and let out a groan of frustration.

"I KNEW you should've gone last week! Which dumbass fool starts Christmas shopping for a party of thirteen on December 21st?" he demanded. Scott looked at him sheepishly. "Is Tin-Tin with you or did she get lost in the shoe department?"

"No, Tin-Tin's right here, Dad," he said. "We've booked into the nearest hotel for the night. It umm... it's gonna be a bigger job than we thought. We'll probably be home the day after tomorrow now. Everywhere is so crowded, and trying to drive from one mall to another is a nightmare, the traffic is bumper to bumper the whole way round the city," he explained. Gordon let out a little snort of laughter.

"That's definitely the look of a guy who's been bumper to bumper all day," he muttered. Virgil chuckled and nodded.

"Did you say something, Gordon?" Jeff asked, pointedly. Gordon looked up at Jeff innocently and then looked over at Scott.

"Hey did you say Tin-Tin is there, Scott?" he asked. "I need to ask her to get something for me."

"Sure thing, buddy, she's right here. Say, Tin-Tin, Gordon wants to talk to you," he called off-camera. There was a brief pause before Tin-Tin appeared onscreen, her hair looking like she'd been dragged through a hedge backwards, her lipstick and eyeliner smudged and the beginnings of a bruise on her forehead.

As soon as Gordon saw Tin-Tin's face, he knew. What's more, she knew that he knew. Neither of them had time to discuss the situation, however, as Jeff was horrified by her dishevelled appearance.

"GADZOOKS! What the hell happened to you?!" he demanded, aghast.

"You should see the other guy, Dad," Gordon said, winking at Tin-Tin. She made a mental note to strangle him when she got home.

"I think he just did," Virgil muttered, loud enough for Gordon to hear, but also loud enough for Jeff to hear.

Jeff then fell into silent and confused contemplation for a few moments before realisation dawned on him and his eyes and mouth both widened in shock. He looked up at Virgil and mouthed "DID THEY FUCK?" as deliberately as possible, and Virgil nodded in response. Jeff rolled his eyes and looked heavenward before burying his head in his hands. Of course, Tin-Tin couldn't see Jeff's reaction and so continued the pretence of innocence.

"I'm fine, Mr Tracy, really. Just unusually hectic here on the mainland, that's all," she explained with a sweet smile. "What did you want, Gordon?" she asked.

"Will you bring me back some of that jelly bean chocolate with the popping candy in it?" he asked.

"There's already three bars in my purse,," she said. He beamed at her.

"You're the best girl in the world."

"Woman."

"Whatever," he said with a shrug. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

"I don't have time," she answered with a deadpan expression, before switching off communications. Virgil and Gordon looked at each other and burst out laughing. Grandma sighed, grabbed her purse, rummaged around and handed Gordon a twenty dollar bill.

"Hussy," she said in a venomous tone, shaking her head.

"Gee, I'm sure glad now I didn't go with Tin-Tin to the mainland," Alan said. Gordon, Virgil, Jeff and Grandma all looked at him in disbelief. "They look like they've really had a tough time. Imagine having to take another night to get all the shopping done? We're lucky they took the plane after all, so they have more room for the stuff they've got to buy!"

"Jesus Christ, Alan, are you for real?" Jeff said in abject amazement. Alan nodded.

"I hate shopping at the best of times. Tin-Tin can shop for hours. It's a good job Scott has the energy to keep up with her," he said, with genuine innocence. Virgil and Gordon looked at each other, then looked at Alan and then burst out laughing. "What? What did I say?" he asked. Jeff drained his glass and stood up.

"I'm going to bed," he said with a very weary tone. "Pretty sure you don't need to worry about Scott keeping up with Tin-Tin, Alan. He's got it covered," he added as he wandered down the corridor to his bedroom, muttering to himself about how you couldn't trust anyone to do a simple bit of Christmas shopping these days.

Nothing more was said about the video call the next day, and by the time Scott and Tin-Tin finally came home, exhausted and spent both financially and physically, it was only thirty-six hours before Nicky, their guest of honour, arrived for Christmas. Of course, that didn't stop Gordon from dropping hints the size of Texas when they got back.

"Say, Scott, you sure look tired. What were you and Tin-Tin DOING for two days on the mainland?" he asked. Scott narrowed his eyes and foisted the Tracy Glare on him, which Gordon was, by now, utterly immune to.

"We were shopping, Gordon," Scott said, a little tersely. "Didn't you see the huge list we had with us?" he said, gesturing towards the list that had been left on the table with scribbles through most of the items as they had been checked off. Gordon picked the list up and let out a low whistle.

"This is quite a list, I can see that. Can't believe you guys went shopping for two days when Amazon exists, though," he said as he read over the list with interest. Scott and Tin-Tin looked guiltily at each other over the top of Gordon's head.

"We couldn't get one-day delivery on everything," Tin-Tin said, hurriedly. Gordon let out a murmur of understanding.

"Of course. Still. You missed a trick, Scott. Can't believe you've been in the one percent all your life and you've never heard of a personal shopper," he said, batting his eyelashes and unleashing an angelic, unwavering smile at his older brother. Scott swallowed hard and cleared his throat, which was as close as he usually got to blushing.

"You know what Dad's like, he likes the personal touch," Scott said, and immediately regretted his word choice.

"You're absolutely right. And y'know something? Dad isn't the only one. It was only last week Tin-Tin was telling me how much she just _loves_ the personal touch! Isn't that right, buddy?" he asked as he patted her shoulder, his face a picture of innocence. Tin-Tin narrowed her eyes and tried to telepathically let Gordon know she was actually going to kill him. Gordon's smile simply widened as he allowed the ensuing silence to become more and more uncomfortable, until Scott decided to break it.

"I think I'll make some coffee, anyone want some?" he asked. Gordon and Tin-Tin both raised their hands and Scott let out a groan of exertion as he got out of his chair. Gordon wasted absolutely no time in seizing an opportunity to foist another joke in his direction.

"Trouble getting up, buddy? I think Tin-Tin might know how to help you with that," he said, sympathetically. "She's got quite the magic touch, if you didn't know."

Scott and Tin-Tin had managed to ignore Gordon quite well until that point, but as they all sat down to enjoy their pre-work coffee, they finally fell right into one of his punchlines with no effort at all.

"Can we open our presents now, Dad?" Gordon asked, even though it was two days before Christmas.

"No, Gordon, not yet!" Tin-Tin said with an indulgent giggle.

"We're gonna wait 'til our guest gets here tomorrow," Scott added with a genuine tone of guilelessness, before taking a swig of coffee. Gordon's eyes gleamed and Tin-Tin somehow knew that she needed to brace herself for his next sentence.

"Aww, no fair, Tin-Tin. I heard Scott unwrapped his present already!"

Scott promptly spat his coffee all over his trousers and a protracted coughing fit ensued. "Jesus, Gordon!" he growled as he leapt up. Gordon held his hands up in protest.

"Don't blame me, Scott, I didn't do anything!" he said. "This is too much fun, I gotta go. If anyone wants me I'm in the pool," he decided, jumping up and making a hasty exit. Scott and Tin-Tin watched him disappear into the kitchen for a drink to take to the pool, then exchanged another guilty look before sighing in relief that Gordon had finally gone.

"Say, what's with Gordon?" Alan asked, jutting a thumb in the general direction of Gordon's exit. Scott shook his head and took a large swig of coffee.

"No idea, Alan," he said, quite untruthfully. "He's got the right idea, though. I might go for a quick swim before we make a start," he said, heading towards his bedroom.

"Ooh yes, Scott, I'll come too," Tin-Tin said, jumping up and following him.

"I BET SHE'S SAID THAT ALREADY THIS WEEK!" Gordon yelled from the kitchen. Scott and Tin-Tin let out a groan of frustration and Alan looked at them quizzically, but they disappeared from the living room before he had chance to question them further.

Gordon had already managed to do five lengths of the pool by the time Scott arrived and jumped in. He was obviously in nowhere near the same league as his naturally gifted, Olympian gold medallist of a brother, but he was a strong swimmer, who made up for any lack of natural expertise with his dogged determination and enthusiasm. Considering he was still smarting from spilling hot coffee on his lap, and how intent Gordon seemed to be to embarrass both of them, Scott thought that taking his dad's oft-quoted advice to 'dip his hot head in the pool' would probably be the wisest course of action at that point. Everyone else had decided to take a couple of hours' rest to sit out on the patio anyway, except of course for Brains who had hidden himself away for days and refused to so much as open the lab door.

He pulled himself out of the pool and sat on the side, wiping water out of his eyes and running his hands through his hair. Eventually he looked up and saw his family who were all congregated at the other end of the pool, their heads tilted to one side as they gazed at him in confusion.

"What?"

"The fuck's on your back, bro?" Gordon asked, his expression completely straight-faced. Scott shrugged.

"I dunno, what is it?" he asked, twisting around to try and see his back.

"They look like scratch marks to me," Grandma said, disapprovingly. Scott's eyes widened in horror and he held his breath for a few seconds as he tried to come up with a reasonable excuse.

"Well would you look at that. Gee. No idea where that came from. I must've fallen or something," he said, waving his hand dismissively. Jeff rolled his eyes, let out a disgruntled 'hmph' and threw his newspaper over his shoulder in disgust.

"I must've fallen or something!" he repeated in a high-pitched, mocking tone, waggling his head for effect. "Jesus Christ, you two idiots make me wish I HAD come down in the last shower!"

Just as Jeff was in the middle of scolding Scott, Tin-Tin appeared in her latest fetching swimsuit, a turquoise and pink two-piece with yellow flowers on. Nobody aside from Tin-Tin would ever have been able to get away with wearing it. Gordon usually reacted to all Tin-Tin's new swimsuits with a reassuring and appreciative wolf-whistle, but this time he let out a shout of horror.

"Neptune's BALLSACK, Tin-Tin! What the hell happened to you?!" he demanded, pointing to her knees, which had bright red, sore looking grazes on them. "Holy shit, are they... are they carpet burns?!" he asked, barely able to contain his laughter. Tin-Tin blushed bright red and started fiddling with her hair, all of a sudden feeling very under-dressed and exposed in front of the entire family.

"Oh, are they?" she said, her voice quavering a little. "Yes, they must be. I don't know how that happened. Perhaps I fell," she suggested. Gordon stared at her for a few moments, before getting out of the pool and walking over to her.

"About fucking time, too!" he said, beaming proudly at her and raising his hand for a high five. Tin-Tin finally let out a huge shout of laughter, relieved that she was so truly and completely approved by the family. She returned Gordon's high five, and as she walked away, couldn't resist slapping him sharply on his peachy butt-cheek, which made the entire Tracy family laugh even harder. They loved Scott and Tin-Tin, and were honestly relieved that they had finally stopped messing around and got together at long, long last. The only person who was quiet was Alan.

"What goes on here?" he asked. Jeff glared at him as he got up to retrieve his newspaper.

"You're too young for that line, kid," he said. Alan shrugged.

"What does Gordon mean?" he asked Virgil. "Is he saying what I think he's saying?" Virgil took a long swig of his drink before replying.

"That's right, Alan. Scott and Tin-Tin got together on the mainland. Guess they're an official thing now," he said. Alan became quiet for a few moments, his expression grave and perturbed.

"Say, Al, don't be down," Gordon said in a reassuring tone, flopping down onto the sun lounger next to Alan. "It isn't as though they're the best kept secret on Tracy Island, they've been eyefucking for months!"

"I know. It isn't that," he said, in a small voice. Gordon frowned, genuinely worried for a moment that his brother was about to cry.

"What is it then?" he asked.

Alan let out a heavy sigh before standing up and digging his hand into his jeans pocket. He rummaged around for a few moments before pulling a twenty dollar bill out, and eyeing it sadly.

"Here, Grandma, looks like this is yours," he said in a dejected tone, holding out the money to her. Grandma jumped up with an agility that belied her advanced years and snatched the bill out of Alan's outstretched hand.

"Pleasure doing business with you, son," she said to Alan, before turning to bestow a cheeky grin and conspiratorial wink on Gordon.

**THE END**


End file.
